By Joshua Smith Pim anyone tell me what is going on? I am so confused. On May 8th, 2012 I did what I always do when I wake up.

I poured some tea, fired up the computer and started surfing the football sites to absorb as much information about Arsenal and all their possible transfers until I smelled the eggs burning in the pan and realized I was late for work again.

You could imagine how elated I was when I read here, here and here that Yann M’Vila had finally signed for Arsenal. I had been tracking this story for over a year and the feeling I had when I read those lines was indescribable. So why haven’t I seen the photos of him holding up the jersey of the official website?

I mean, we’re going to have to face Stoke City on Sunday without a DM! What are they waiting for? Don’t they know that Stoke has enough brute force to stomp us into the ground without an enforcer like Yann? Trust me, I did the math. If you look at the starting lineups for both teams last week, they’ve got us beat by 38cm and 10kg! Surely a robust player like M’Vila would turn the tide in our favor or, at least, take out Shawcross.

Now granted, I’ve never actually seen M’Vila play a game but everyone says that he is the perfect signing for us. I did watch a few ‘Welcome to Arsenal Yann’ clips on YouTube and he’s the real deal. He never missed a pass and stopped every would-be attacker with a dramatic sliding tackle so it would be great if Arsenal would just go ahead and announce what his shirt number is going to be so he can wreak havoc on those giants come Sunday.

I have written this in jest because, like many of you, I’ve read the hundreds of internet articles about M’Vila since that day in May when it seemed for sure that we’d gotten our man but these sites who report on behalf of unnamed sources have strapped us into a nauseating transfer roller coaster that never ends. To be honest, I feel like a dupe.

A perfect example can be taken from what I read just yesterday. Within five minutes of each other, two reputable football news sites ran two completely different stories. One said that Nuri Sahin had agreed to come on loan to Arsenal and had completed his medical while the other said that he had signed on loan with Liverpool.

If I am to believe what I read, this is the most historic transfer of all time. It’s hard enough to get two clubs to complete a deal but here we have three. It must have been difficult for everyone to come to terms on what percentage of Sahin’s salary each club would take on. Liverpool has no doubt paid over the top and agreed to take on 99% of his wages. I’m sure the only reason this deal has been protracted is due to Arsenal trying to knock Real Madrid down on the remaining one percent.

It will be interesting to see how the two clubs decide who he will play for each week; heads or tails, home, away or perhaps rock-paper-scissors. We know Arsenal have the funds to pull in one or two more players this coming week and certainly one on loan as well so, at this point, I have to believe that if Arsenal chooses not to move on someone it’s because we don’t really need them. We have one of the best scouting teams in the world and they know exactly what Wenger is looking for.

Even with that knowledge though, I’m still going to wake up tomorrow and hit all of those sites again hoping to see that M’Vila, whether we truly need him or not, is wearing red and white.

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